The more you research tips on how to live longer, how to get stuff done, how to achieve certain goals in life, the more you start realizing one very important thing – no one really knows WHAT THE FUCK WE’RE SUPPOSED TO DO.
It’s been about two and a half years since I started this self-development journey and I’ve made a lot of improvements and even though in some ways I have more work to do now than I used to, I consider myself at a higher level than when I started (whatever that means). I thought I’d write a bit of something. A something to maybe sum up what I’ve learned or whatever knowledge I have gather along this journey.
I think it’s only fair to start with something that I’ve already sort of mentioned
There is no roadmap.
There is no viewer to your Dora the Explorer show. There’s no one that truly knows what the fuck is going on and where you’re supposed to go. There are no concrete steps that will lead you towards success. The only thing you can do, I’ve come to find, is STACK THE DECK in your favor. Do the basics right and the rest will come. It may be slower than for somebody else, or it may be faster than for others, but it will come eventually.
One of my favorite quotes of Kevin Hart is “It can be bad but for so long.” Which conveniently takes me to my first rather “basic” advice.
Accept the bad with the good
There’s nothing wrong with a little sadness in our lives. In fact not only is it natural to feel down, but trying too much to protect yourself from feeling this way can actually be detrimental to your health. Like holding in a sneeze.
I realized that recently (more or less) when any time I felt like ass I’d continue to shit on myself while I was down, basically destroying myself for feeling sad. S-A-D. One of the most ordinary emotions. Truth is while I was sad I was actually relatively ok (as much as one can be), but everything came after. Usually, the next morning after figuratively or literally crying myself to sleep, I would feel a certain type of joy that everything was over and yet I was hating myself for “wasting time” as I put it in my thoughts. And I don’t think it’ll take convincing for you to see that that’s just F-ed up.
Learn from your mistakes
When the bad DOES happen, it’s important to do our best not to let it happen again. It’ll probably still happen, but it’s good to do what we can to limit the mistakes we make and/or repeat.
For that to happen you need to be self aware. When you realize you’ve made a mistake or did something that maybe you shouldn’t have, take a deep breath and really think why that happen. See if there’s anything you could change either in your work process or daily routine that you could alter for better results.
Lead a Healthy Lifestyle
Speaking of habits and daily routine – lead a healthy lifestyle. I think a lot of the times when we hear “healthy lifestyle” we immediately think of living longer or to look better. I like to say that we should live our lives so that we feel good and not so that we’re healthy. It’s a mental thing for me, because “feel good” sounds more in the moment if you will.
Anyway, a good or healthy lifestyle equals a balanced lifestyle*.* That means not to forget to stand up from your desk every now and then or to drink enough water every day. Develop a healthy relationship with food, so that when you think about what to eat for lunch, instead of eating pizza or choosing the salad out of guilt, you eat something healthy because you want to.
The hardest step is the first one, but once you’ll see the benefits of a healthy lifestyle (which doesn’t really take that long) you’re not going to want to look back.
Social Life
A social life is a part of any healthy lifestyle. That’s why it’s important to find people that share our ambitions, hobbies, traits, etc. So that we can do whatever we want to WHILE also being with and talking to other people. I probably should’ve put this with the last point, but my gut told me otherwise.
How much you should go out or how many times per week you should call your bff is up to you. Try to find a nice balance that works for you.
Keep Doing What You Like Doing
A global poll conducted by Gallup has uncovered that out of the world’s one billion full-time workers, only 15% of people are engaged at work. That means that an astronomical 85% of people are unhappy in their jobs.
We don’t live forever, so it seems obvious that we should spend our time doing what we like doing. So it’s sad to see that so many people go to work every day where they spend more or less 8 hours a day basically suffering.
There was a study done in the US that discovered that, on average, people that like their job live longer. That’s because when you like what you’re doing on the outside, you feel less stressed on the inside and I think we all know how villainous of a role stress can take in our lives.
Point being, if you like what you’re doing for a living, not only will you live a happier life, but you’ll live a longer life. And isn’t that what “to succeed at life” basically means.
Avoid toxicity – people OR substances
Just like work we don’t like doing, there’s a lot of other “stuff” in our lives that we should aim to get rid of. Much like making mistakes, we should make every effort to limit our interactions with toxic people. While most people will agree that alcohol, cigarettes and ingesting sulfuric acid is not good for you, we often forget how much a toxic relationship can ruin our lives.
I’m not saying that society should give up on mentally unhealthy people. In fact I think we need to make more of an effort to help them, but we cannot help others until we help ourselves. That’s why sometimes it’s best to just take a step back.
Also, let’s not forget that it’s not always that one person is mentally deranged or whatever, but rather the combination is not compatible. Some people just bring out the worst in each other. All we can do is to just move on and find other friends, partners. It might be scary, but crucial.
Don’t forget to learn from your mistakes
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.
Self-awareness is the key to becoming your best self.
In a nutshell – I don’t fucking know. Or even better:
To answer your question – I can’t fucking answer it.
Don’t be an asshole, lead a better lifestyle and just do whatever feels best I guess.
August 